Closer

Below is one of my all time favorite dialogues from the film "Closer",  I must warn everyone that it fluctuates on explicit waters in some bits, it is after all a dialogue between a stripper and her customer..
Enjoy...

"Closer
" written by Patrick Marber

Larry: I love you.

Alice: Thank you.

Larry: What's this room called?

Alice: The paradise suite.

Larry: How many paradise suites are there?

Alice: Eight.

Larry: Do I have to pay you to talk to me?

Alice: No, but if you want to tip me, you're welcome.

(He does.)

Alice: Thank you.

Larry: I used to come here a million years ago. It was a punk club. The stage was... ...Everything is a version of something else. Twenty years ago. How old were you?

Alice: Four.

Larry: Christ. When I was in flares, you were in nappies.

Alice: My nappies were flared.

Larry: You have a face of an angel.

Alice: Thank you.

Larry: What does your cunt taste like?

Alice: Heaven.

Larry: ......How long you been doing this?

Alice: Three months.

Larry: Straight after he left you.

Alice: No one left me.

Larry: Nice wig.

Alice: Thank you.

Larry: Does all this turn you on?

Alice: Sometimes.

Larry: Liar. You're telling me it turns you on because you think that's what I want to hear. You think I'm turned on by it turning you on.

Alice: The thought of me creaming myself when I strip for strangers doesn't turn you on?

Larry: Put like that, yes. (she bends over in front of him) Ohh. Are you flirting with me?

Alice: Maybe.

Larry: Are you allowed to flirt with me?

Alice: Sure.

Larry: Really?

Alice: No, I'm not. I'm breaking all the rules.

Larry: You're mocking me.

Alice: Yes, I'm allowed to flirt.

Larry: To prise my money from me.

Alice: To prise your money from you I may do or say as I please.

Larry: Except touch.

Alice: We're not allowed to touch.

Larry: Open your legs. Wider. Show me. (she does) So what would happen if I touched you now?

Alice: I would call security.

Larry: What would they do?

Alice: They would ask you to leave and ask you not to come back.

Larry: And if I refused to leave?

Alice: They would remove you. Those are security cameras in the ceiling.

(He looks up.)

Larry: I think it's best I don't attempt to touch you. I'd like to touch you... later.

Alice: I'm not a whore.

Larry: I wouldn't pay. Why the fuck did he leave you?

Alice: What's your job?

Larry: A question. You've asked me a question.

Alice: So?

Larry: It's a chink in your armor.

Alice: I'm not wearing armor.

Larry: Yes you are. You know I do. Why are you calling yourself Jane?

Alice: Because it's my name.

Larry: We both know it isn't. You're all protecting your identities. There's a girl out there, calls herself Venus. What's her real name?

Alice: Pluto.

Larry: You're cheeky.

Alice: Would you like me to stop being cheeky?

Larry: No.

Alice: What's your name?

Larry: Daniel.

Alice: Daniel the dermatologist.

Larry: I never told you my job.

Alice: I guessed.

Larry: You're strong.There's another one out there, judging by the scars, a recent patient of Doctor Tit. Calls herself Cupid. Who's going to tell her that Cupid was a bloke?

Alice: He wasn't a bloke. He was a little boy.

Larry: I want you to tell me your name. (tips her) Please.

Alice: Thank you. My name is Jane.

Larry: Your real name. (tips her)

Alice: Thank you. My real name is Jane.

Larry: Careful. (tips her)

Alice: Thank you. Still Jane.

Larry: I've got another 500 quid here. Why don't I just give you all this money (throws some at her) and you tell me what your real name is, Alice? (He holds a wad of cash under her chin.)

Alice: I promise. (He throws the wad at her. She picks it up.) Thank you. My real name is plain Jane Jones.

Larry: I may be rich but I'm not stupid.

Alice: What a shame, Doc, I love 'em rich and stupid.

Larry: Don't you fuck around with me!

Alice: I apologize.

Larry: Accepted. All the girls in this hell hole... the ... pneumatic robots, the coked-up babydolls and you're no different. You all use stagenames to con yourselves into someone else so you don't feel ashamed when you show your cunts and assholes to complete fucking strangers! I am trying to have a conversation here!

Alice: You're out of cash, buddy.

Larry: I paid for this room!

Alice: This is extra.

Larry: We met last year.

Alice: Wrong girl.

Larry: Talk to me!

Alice: I am.

Larry: Talk to me in real life. I didn't know you'd be here. I know who you are. I love you. I love everything about you. The hurt. (laughs, then sits down and cries) She won't even see me. You feel the same. I know you feel the same.

Alice: You can't cry in here.

Larry: Hold me. Let me hold you.

Alice: We're not allowed to touch.

Larry: Well, come home with me. It's safe. Let me look after you.

Alice: I don't need looking after.

Larry: Everybody needs looking after.

Alice: I'm not your revenge fuck.

Larry: I'll pay you.

Alice: I don't need your money.

Larry: You have my money.

Alice: Thank you.

Larry: "Thank you." "Thank you." Is that some kind of rule?

Alice: Just being polite.

Larry: Get a lot of grown men crying their guts out, do you?

Alice: Occupational hazard.

Larry: Have you ever desired a customer?

Alice: Yes.

Larry: Well, put me out of my misery, do you desire me because I'm being pretty fucking honest about my feelings for you.

Alice: Your feelings?

Larry: Whatever.

Alice: No, I don't desire you.

Larry: Thank you. Thank you sincerely for your honesty. ... You think you haven't given us anything of yourselves. You think because you don't love us or desire us or even like us, you think you've won.

Alice: It's not a war.

Larry: (laughs) If I ask you to strip right now, would you?

Alice: Of course. Do you want me to?

Larry: No. Alice--tell me something true.

Alice: Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off--but it's better if you do.

Larry: You're cold. You're all cold at heart. (at the security camera in the ceiling) What do you have to do to get a bit of intimacy around here?!

Alice: Maybe next time I'll have worked on my intimacy.

Larry: No, I'll tell you what's going to work. That you're going to take your gear off right now and you're going to turn around very slowly and you're going to bend over and you're going to touch the fucking floor for my viewing pleasure.

Alice: Is that what you want?

Larry: What else could I want?

(She does as requested. He stares at her)

Sita Sings the Blues

Today I thought of sharing an entire movie (yes, below is a link to an entire 80 minute movie!) instead of critiquing movies that aren't 'showtime friendly' and difficult to find.

Below is one of my all time favorite animation flics: "Sita Sings The Blues". It is a film by the incredibly talented, awe inspiring, free culture activist: Nina Paley. A little background about this gem and its maker: Nina had a very painful divorce, so she used all of her anger into giving us this masterpiece inspired by the Ramayana (an ancient Sanskrit epic by Valmiki). Hence, this movie runs on three parallels: 1- it tells Nina's story, 2- it tells one of the Ramayana's stories: that of Sita. 3- which in turn is told through three indian shadow puppets.

The reason I have a soft spot for this film is because of Nina: for starters her talent, you have no idea how difficult it is to make a movie these days, let alone an animation movie, let alone a movie using FOUR styles of animation!! 1- Vector graphic animation (when Sita sings any blues song), 2-traditional animation (for Nina's story), 3-shadow puppets (when the indians narrate) , and 4-animated Rajput paintings (for Sita's story).
The music is truly exceptional, you will notice it from the very first shot, it rekindles my love for blues through the Annette Hanshaw songs used whenever Sita (obviously) sings the blues.
The second reason I am so fond of Nina and this film is the fact that she decided (more so from a premonition in my view) that this movie should be freely accessible to everyone, as I mentioned earlier that Nina is a 'free culture activist'. In the intro credits, she mocks this with opening titles such as: " A 'Funded by you' Production" and "In association with 'Your Money'". Ironically and very sadly so: Nina got sued left right and center from everyone because of this film, people somehow freaked out by the fact that there is an artist out there who wants to make art that is free of charge to everyone. Hindu activists also wanted to entirely demolish this film as they believed it to grossly humiliate the Ramayana.

Is that the case? well you only have to see for yourself to judge..

Enjoy Nina's Sita ...

"Nevine" or "Nevine"?

Tonight at 4 am, as I said my last prayers of the night, I lay my whole upper body on my knees and laid my head at their tips, I finalized my daily personal requests, then I suddenly felt myself taking this posture: it was immensely soothing, very yoga-days-reminiscent and I started taking several deep breaths and paused, I took more breaths and paused, the more I did so, the more I felt the blood rushing into my head, but in a good way, as it was withdrawing the terrible anxiety i have been feeling for the past five hours from my gut and spreading to my entire body, slowly creeping up to my head, all in all orchestrated by my deep breaths. Then out of the blue, came a voice:
"Nevine"

"Nevine"

"Nevine"

It could have been me trying to remember my name, or thats what it seemed at the first instant, but by the second "Nevine", something changed: as it hit me that it wasn't me saying "Nevine", it wasn't another voice. But for a split second, it sounded like how "Nevine" appeared to others. This may be from the phonetic aspect of my name, it having 2 vowels obliges the speaker to do some tongue twisting and somehow realize once you say it that it has nothing to do with Arab or Egyptian names (thank you mum, kudos dad) but no, that still wasn't it.
I sat in this awkward position asking myself why all of a sudden have I decided to say my own name? and then, for a split second or maybe less, it dawned on me.

This is the Nevine spoken as in how Nevine is seen.

You see.. most of us take our names for granted, I know many Nevines but when I speak out their names, I don't really consider mine in the process.

I said Nevine but I didn't really say it, Nevine was being said as others would say it, as other would see it, as others would feel it and as others would like to utter it.

This may be a very minor and meaningless observation, but the significance behind it for me is astounding. You see, for a good while, I wont dramatize and say my whole life, I have been very concerned (sometimes even reproached) about how others see me, I was manifesting my personality and justifying my individuality, whatever that is, as how it would appear to others. That being said, I worked from inside out, i.e. I focused on how me from within would like to be perceived and assumed that this is how others would see me. Example: If I was interested in how people view my mode of conversing I would usually see it from my own perspective, I would assume I use too many English with this person and I swear too much around these people…etc. Thats how I saw my manner of conversing and since I, as Nevine saw it as such, then I am sure everyone saw it as such. In other words, I made people's assumptions about me based upon MY OWN assumptions about myself.

Which brings us to the point of this rather confusing blog post: by hearing that 4 am "Nevine" this whole analysis above flipped upside down, for the first time I realized that the "Nevine" that I see is something completely different to the "Nevine" that people see. Again if we take the linguistics analysis above, just because I assume and I believe that I use too many English words in my conversations with X person, this does not necessarily mean that this X person sees it as such, he may see it that I use too many Arabic words in my speech for example.

Therefore, this is a phenomenal self discovery in my very own version of the science of 'self worth', if I insist I am a retard with a golden retriever hair and a piggy nose, even though I seem to others as a semi-retard with a Husky hair and a rather small nose. But me believing the former will eventually make everyone switch from the latter perspective of me and join me in my former view of myself. All of this because I heard my name today after my prayers.

I have always been amazed by the energies, the law of attraction (not The Secret, that was a literary rape case) and all that mumbo jumbo of karma, power of now, shakras and even projections. During my advertising days, they always used to tell me "you gotta believe that what what you are about to present to your client is the best work a creative has ever came up with, otherwise they will not buy it", and it used to somehow offend me, after endless days and 50 liters of Nescafe, this is not what is going to cut it! But it is.. sadly so, it is. You are what you believe you are, and people will not believe you if you do not believe in your ad boards about female depilatory products (or chocolate, or fizzy drinks, or el leban el se7ry..) If you envy men, act like them. If you envy Penguins, wear a tight skirt and walk like them. If you want to have madonna's career, go to Med school (she is an exception here).

Scared of that presentation? Start practicing Obama's 'Yes we can", or dig up your 15 year Oscar speech (20 in my case) Or simply take my revelation as your skate board and start saying your name out loud to yourself, you will laugh, you will feel stupid, but hey .. so what? you have had many stupid moments before, so You must be an expert on the stupidometer. Feel it. Believe it. Be it. Period.

Sorry, there is no laughter aspect in here, I forgot to mention I am a Gemini, which means one of my 26 personalities is writing my blog this time.

Happy Feast y'all, indulge on the Fatta (and name calling…ermmm… your name that is)

Sympathy For Lady Vengeance

"Sympathy For Lady Vengeance" is a 2005 Korean film for director Park Chan-wook. The film is the third installment in Park's The Vengeance Trilogy, following Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance (2002) and Oldboy (2003).

Of this trilogy I had only seen Oldboy, I was so moved by it that I refused to watch any of the remaining two films because it was inconceivable that any film would be as good as Oldboy, it was as if my mind could not or refused to handle any more great movies. It was exactly like eating the best piece of steak in the world, it is so well seasoned, very tender, cooked just as you like it and it filled you up to perfection. So going and having a piece of perfect chicken or salmon steak was a nice idea, but the steak made you feel so good that you didnt want to adjust your taste buds to anything else no matter how good it is.

And I have this sad habit with movies, when i watch a really good film, I tend to isolate myself afterwards, cause it gets very hard to get back to the real world and suck in other people/places' energies, I like to hang on to the energy of that movie for as long as I can.

Now back to our perfect piece of steak.. So I had been resisting watching any of the two remaining movies of the trilogy.. till yesterday. A friend of mine started telling me about  it, I resisted, he told me the story, I still resisted. He then popped up his iPhone and showed me the poster (look above), and of course I surrendered on the spot..

So I finally got the film, cancelled all my plans for the day (i can foresee a later need for isolation) and sat down and watched it.

And oh boy.. This was no steak, no chicken and definitely no Salmon.. This was a piece of fine candy, no actually a fine piece of a big, freshly baked and crunchy almond macaron thats all gooey from the inside!

The movie tells the story of Lee Geum-ja, it starts with her release from prison. She had been imprisoned for the murder of a little boy: "Won-mo" 13 years ago. Lee Geum-ja is innocent of the murder, she confessed the false crime by order of Mr. Baek, the real killer who kidnapped and threatened to murder her newborn daughter if she refused. Lee who was nicknamed "Kind-Hearted Geum-Ja." by her cell mates, comes out of prison as a different woman, she wears red eye shadow throughout the whole film to make her look less innocent and more evil, and every time she meets someone from her past they ask her "why have you changed so much?". She has one thing in mind: Kill Bill! sorry Mr Baek! ..

 she goes around scheming and gathering favors from ex cell mates to set out and finish him off. However, things don't go as planned, she tracks down her daughter and finds out she got adopted by an Australian couple, she goes to visit her, the daughter becomes obsessed with her and threatens to kill herself if she doesnt take her back to Seoul with her. Lee takes her back, and drags her around Seoul with her as she hunts down Mr Baek. She finally finds him, and right before she kills him, she finds out that he had many other victims other than Won-mo.

 Lee finds tapes he recorded of each child that he had killed. She also finds out that all of these children's parents didnt know that they died, they simply thought they were kidnapped for ransom. This is where the real magic of the movie begins for me: because Lee (our lady vengeance) then decides to make her vengeance a mass vengeance and brings in each family to take part of his killing with her.

She shows each one of them the tape of their child's murder, and then gives them the choice of either handing Mr Baek over to the authorities or... torturing him, one by one till he dies.

I will leave the plot here in case you are planning to see it..

The thing is with this film, the story is not that original, the actress is not that charismatic ( I wouldnt remember her if I saw her again). But the whole movie is one piece of art, usually the highest reviewed movies are not that entertaining to watch, dont ask me why, you are bored the whole movie, then when its done, you just cant stop thinking about it, thats why they are so successful because it means that their message got through to you, and if you have any knowledge of movie making, you will know that this is the number one dream of any film maker, to deliver a message to you. A little pop quizz to help us here: can you remember any message behind: a- I Know What You Did Last Summer, b- Gigli or c- Step up 3D (or any 3D film for that matter..) ... there you go..!

But with Sympathy for Lady Vengeance, I got the message and I was entertained from the first shot till the very last word in the closing credits. 

The directing is genius to have succeeded on all these levels, his casting skills may not be that successful, but who cares, he delivered his message, he entertained his audience visually and vocally. And, what is it about Asian film making? when it comes to artistic direction, you feel like they come from another planet, several shots made me pause the film and rewind it. The soundtrack was baroque-themed, featuring many pieces with harpsichord and baroque guitars, it has nothing to do with the film, the theme or its era, but it worked so well. Somehow throughout the film, you find yourself crying in a scene where she is putting her coat on, all because of the music!

Also, Lee's daughter (Jenny) serves as her conscience throughout the whole film: in the beginning when Lee was released from prison, they presented her with a block of tofu to eat as a symbol of her beginning a clean white life, she reacts by throwing it on the floor. By the end of the film, picture this shot: Lee is standing in front of Jenny, who is dressed in white. Lee has the same piece of Tofu in her hands, its heavily snowing around them, there is a boy dancing under the snow in the background, Broque music is playing in the playground. Jenny then makes her weep and bury her face in a block of tofu and the closing credits comes on screen, still with the Baroque music playing.

End result is, this movie has nothing to do with Oldboy, it is loyal to the theme of the vengeance trilogy, by depicting a vengeance story. Oldboy distrubed you to the core of your very last cell, Lady Vengeance made you reflect on the real significance of revenge, or more accurately, made you ask yourself: is it really worth it? Because like most revenge movies, she didnt get back her daughter and happily walk off into her new life like what Uma did in Kill Bill. She took off her red eye shadow, stood in front of her daughter, wept then buried her face in tofu.

Watch it, and no matter what baggage you still have on your back, this movie will help you dump it off.. actually it will make you believe that there is no baggage there.. that its useless to have walked around all these years with your back arched from all that weight.. No? tab go eat some tofu...its a start :)

(thank you for reading.. no really.. you all make me happy.. much love from my side)

I globalize, therefore I am..

One of my favorite definitions of globalization is "the shrinkage of time and space"

I am sure that you are now presuming that this is a post related to heavy topics: politics/economy …etc
But no it is not pertaining to any of these topics, however it IS about a heavy topic, the most heavily discussed topic on the planet: Relationships.

So what is the relationship between relationships and globalization?
Its a simple one: The grand demise that relationships are suffering from is all because of globalization.
Ok.. lets simplify this further...

You meet a guy in a party, you spend the whole night talking, you obviously like each other, you go home (thinking about him), you go to sleep (still thinking about him), you wake up (trying not to think about him).. Till suddenly, the door bell rings, you answer it: and find him standing in front of you. How would you react? you would definitely freak out and classify him as a stalker. Right?

Ok, now what if this happened during the 19th century?  would you still consider him a stalker? yes.. remember all those Jane Austen/Bronte films where the 'suitor' would show up unannounced after one encounter, to inform the maiden of his profound interest in her?

Now flash Forward to 2010, you meet a guy, you like each other, he is keen on showing you that he is interested, but he doesn't want to be pushy, so the next day you find a friend request on Facebook. You check out his profile first to see what he is like, and you bring out your check list. Profile pictures are cool? check. You then go through his status updates, he doesn't quote Paulo Coelho: check. He doesn't even have any status updates: double check. You then check out his photo albums, they are blocked: hummm.. ok..check. You wait for another hour: then you accept the friend request. Hey.. he is online! you wait.. he is not chatting with you. Your boss starts screaming at you, you close your Facebook and get back to work.

Day 2: you go online, he is online too, his chat window pops up:
'hey!!'
"helloooo (multiply the o's cause that means you are nice but still you only typed one word, so not too keen)"
"sup?"
"all good.. u?"
(bla bla.. his pronunciation sucks, however he still capitalizes names and doesnt use emoticons.. till your boss starts screaming again, you close your FB, get back to work)
..and this scenario repeats itself for another 3 days, till one day he makes a move! he asks for your BB pin! and before you know it, your BBM alert tone starts buzzing..
'hey!!'
"helloooo (multiply the o's cause that means you are nice but still you only typed one word, so not too keen)"
"sup?"
(bla bla.. this time he is using odd emoticons, but its cool cause the BBM emoticons are actually cute.. this goes on till your boss starts screaming again, you put your phone on silent and get back to work)
.. and yup.. this scenario repeats itself for another 3 days, till he makes yet another grand move, he follows you on Twitter! he starts mentioning you and occasionally retweets too!
Did I annoy you? I am sure I did, cause I have annoyed myself already!

So what does Globalization have to do with this? its simple, it made everything accessible, in the old days you had to physically meet each other to really get to know each other, or the more conservative (debatable) manner of asking around to find out about a girl/guy's interests and character. Nowadays you just check who he follows on Twitter, or what she posts on her wall. Globalization has made it so easy, it brought us all closer via internet, 3G, IPads, and all that junk. They all testify to one fact about human beings in the 21st century: that we have this incredible URGE to be accessible to each other 24/7! wherever we are: even if you are having a shower, you can still answer your phone! yes people! Motorolla are launching a 100% waterproof phone (porn jokes aside please). 

First there was the land line telephone: that made people accessible whenever they are home, then there were answering machines: that made them semi-accessible when they are not home. Then there was mobile phones: that made them accessible when they are awake and active. Then the mobile phones kept evolving: texting happened, she is not answering, no big deal i will just SMS her. Then phones evolved even more, BBM/ Ping/WhatsApp happened, you don't have enough credit, but you can harass her whenever you want with all the cute emoticons, pictures and forwards you can master, and these applications allow you to find out if she has read your messages or not. And that is just ONE form of communication, how about the internet? E-mails.. remember those? I was actually fond of E-mails, they were my only link to the Bronte and Austen era: cause they allowed a person to actually sit down and write his feelings out and then with the click of a button, send it to you. But then Facebook happened, and people became incapable of breathing without it (myself shamelessly included), and the social networks started multiplying, each with their own promise of offering you an original portal and manner of virtual flirting, and ensuring you that it will never be seen as stalking (remember Hi5)?

So, yup ..'the shrinkage of time and space' managed to shrink many things with it: courting (yes, that's what they used to call it) is long gone now. It has also shrunk Romance: now if you wanna look into his eyes, you have to look at those of Bruce Lee in his current profile pic. the closest you will get to winking at her is by 'poking' her, that is if Facebook manages to notify her in time. And when you do spend time together, there is always a third party involved: the buzzer of the phone. If you wanna tell him you miss him, post a youtube song on his wall. If you wanna tell him you are mad at him: update your BBM status, follow your ex, or better yet eat your phone's heart out, burn your hard disk and feed your wall..

I will end this post with the words of the great dame of acting Drew Barrymore with probably the deepest line she ever said in a movie (here its from 'He is just not that You'):

"i had this guy leave me a voice mail at work so i called him at home and then he emailed me into my blackberry so i texted to his cell, and he emailed me into my home account and the whole thing just got out of control and i miss the days where you had 1 phone number and one answering machine and that 1 answering machine housed 1 cassette tape, and that 1 cassette tape either had a message from a guy or it didn't. Now you have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by 7 different technologies, its exhausting"

Happy pokes and tweets everyone :)

In Glozell we trust

Yo! yo! give it up to Glozell!
Or in normal people language: 'please meet Glozell'

A friend of mine posted one of her videos last week, i checked it out and man do i dig her! (ok! i will stop the bro language)... she is quiet something!

For some reason, her friends convinced her that she s funny as hell and should start her own video diaries and share her wisdom with the world about everything.

She's got over 900 videos on youtube, i tried to watch them all, but watching a Glozell video on youtube is like having molokheya for a snack.
Anyway, these are the ones i thought worthy of sharing:


This is her take on Keisha (she calls her 'Ketchup')... and since i think Keisha is the love child of Jack Daniel's and puke.. I now truly give it up to Glozell!







She also gets many compliments from the 'brothers' on her very (yes... VERYYY) generous booty.. so she took it further and did this parody..







and an 'iss you lonely??' parody



So ladies, next time you wear them jeans.. smack that booty and be grateful there is a Glozell out there.

(btw, if anyone's interested, she is doing a meet & greet in Target tomorrow)

The Nouveau Cool

(warning: i know many will be offended by this, but I never denied that I was an elitist, its one of my few cherished defects..)


Ever heard of the 'Nouveau Cool"?

No you didnt, cause i ve just invented it!
let me familiarize you a bit with my new poignant term..
(another warning: if you are not one of those lame Egyptians living in the margins of the Socialite mishaps, this article will be total mumbo jumbo to you..)

When you walk into a party, take a good look around you, all of these kids are the Nouveau Cool.. The Nouveau Cool are the kids (yes anyone below 25 is a kid to me!!) that are everywhere now. They have invented their own fashion, perfected their new found music taste, have their very own lingo and body language, and move around in herds.
but the sad thing is.. there is nothing 'inventive' about any of the above, the fashion is a scary Paris Hilton-Gaga-Cyrus mix. The music taste doesn't go beyond Guetta and the Black Eyed Peas. And as for the body language: oh well, how many movements do you need to communicate 'tense/slut/small wee wee'
Now comes the meaty part: they move around in herds.. Our dear Nouveau Cool are a bunch of very good friends who suddenly became very good friends because they share the same desire: They WANT to be cool..they want to be everywhere, to go to every single party, to take pictures of themselves in these parties, and post these eye stinging pictures on FaceBook to prove s0mething. That they are cool, they are in, they are happening..etc..
They are also people that suddenly popped up, you ve never heard of them before and suddenly they are EVERYWHERE. Or if you have heard of them before, most of them are that shy guy or that weird smelling girl you used to know but couldn't remember their name.

It is a well known fact that the Egyptian society is dying, if you compare our lifestyle 15 years ago to today, you will understand what I mean: the Mahmoodaky parties are over, all the 3azayem now take place only during sahel season, the 3azza now is held in a mosque for 3 hours instead of the 3 day 3azza, and many people now would rather create a Blackberry group to catch up rather than meet up over coffee. No one even goes to coffee shops anymore, people meet up for a drink, a movie, or a Playstation.
So, we cant really blame the Nouveau Cool for leaping into the social scene and spreading like fungus, the lack of a society made the Nouveau Cool believe that they are the cream of the society: they are the crowd of Tamarai and the reason why Cairo Jazz is suddenly happening again.
I open my Facebook everyday and i see new albums: usually of the same girl, in the same posture in 150 pictures. Or of the same guy of the same pause with 150 girls on each arm. when i get through the pictures, I see the status updates: "xxx is partying it up in Sokhna (since when is sokhna a party scene?)" or "xxx is so getting ready to jet to France (who gives a shit)"..

The Nouveau Cool for me are the biggest indicator that this society is over, the attitudes are getting uglier, the outings are becoming scarier, and me... well.. older :)
Yes, i am very aware that i DO sound like a has been who is entering her 30's, but I kid you not, back in the days, we ALL knew each other cause either we were related or family friends, life was much simpler, you go out once every week, and then you go home, watch Falcon Crest (ok.. The Bold and the Beautiful in my case) and go to sleep.

oh well... i am off to bed.. where is my night anti wrinkle cream?

Let the Right One In

'Let the Right One In' is a Swedish vampire film that has nothing to do with horror, vampires or any other genre.
it transcends all movies in its content and how the director chose to deal with such a story
I heard of it a while back, when i saw the trailer of its American remake which is to be released next month.
And as they tell you 'do not judge a book by its movie', in our case here it should be 'do not judge a movie by its American remake', so I went and watched it because I knew i would kick myself if I ended up seeing the final American version.

The movie tells the story of a very odd 12 year old girl: Eli, she moves in next to Oskar who is of the same age, and they fall in love throughout the course of the movie. As you might expect, the plot takes the expected turns (Oskar is constantly bullied, Eli saves him. Strange murders happen in town and Oskar discovers its all Eli's doing. ).. that said, watching these events is a totally different experience, there are no scary scenes in the film, no sound effects whatsoever and there are no hot cheerleader running around with double D cleavage..

I had given up on vampire movies since I saw Bram Stocker's Dracula back in the 90's.. but when i heard of this film, the title itself (based on a Morissey song) made me extremely curious.
And indeed it did not disappoint me, the movie is very slow, there is absolutely nothing charismatic about the kids. But thats exactly what made me fall in love with it, Eli is bordering unattractive and Oskar looks like a classic Swede (so blonde that you can't tell his hair from his skin).

Tomas Alfredson the director, did an excellent job by being totally indifferent to the viewer's fast paced conditioned entertainment needs, he took his time with the story, and like most European film makers: this film gave us a character study instead of a complicated plot. The scenes took their time and weight, the dialogue was scarce and there were no complicated sets.

But what really got to me is the fact that this movie is not about vampires, it is about the kind of love a 12 year old experiences, the unconditional kind, the kind that is not cautious and eager to apply what it learned from previous experiences.

It is not visual by any means, you will not remember any scenes because they will all be clouded by two or three extremely powerful scenes, one of which shows Eli with blood all over her face as if it is chocolate sauce.

It is really a shame that we live in an age where kids define their future based upon twilight release dates, and have not heard of great vampire films such as Nosferatu .

One of the biggest misconceptions about vampire films is that they should either be terrifying and bloody, or Romantic and corny .
But every once in a while a movie like this comes along and gives us a completely different perspective on one of the greatest myths ever created.
Please stop obsessing with Twilight, I mean really Edward has the most vertically challenged hair i have ever seen, and Bella has two expressions, and she somehow ends up cross eyed in the rest. Vampires do NOT sparkle in sunlight and werewolves do not have piggy noses (what the hell are werewolves even doing in a VAMPIRE movie!)..

teeny little daily pleasures

alright then..
since i ve been very fixated on the whole happiness thing (starting from its definition to attaining it)
i had several stops in my tedious quest:

what always rang with me was a Brigitte Bardot quote "you cannot say 'I am happy!' as a statement like  'I am blonde '!".. so i thought this statement was genius in its simplicity, happiness is not a tangible decisive all encompassing conclusion like a bottle of blonde die with a hint of chestnut.

Happiness is a grand fine lady that demands respect, you cannot lure her in with that new diet, that hot guy, or that new SUV. She likes to come in small doses. A brilliant friend once gave me a very simple test to do whenever I am at my happiest state to see whether this happiness is genuine and everlasting or not, he simply said take away that particular factor that makes you happy (that new diet, that hot guy or that new SUV) and if you are still happy, then congrats you are one of the 1% favored by the grand dame.

That totally unplugged me, because yes I do get happy when suddenly i can slip into a size 27 jeans, or actually eat that perfect risotto. what would i be without the risotto's calories or the skinny jeans? erm.. back to the less happier state..
so on with my quest, and my ever increasing frustration of finding that luring dame, I came across another very successful quote
"Enjoy the little things, there are so many of them"
now you see, this is written by a happy person who probably has a bunch of size 30 jeans. but he/she doesnt care because she (i will effeminate her, happiness IS a dame after all) is always busy focusing on her little things to not care..
So here is the deal:
I am going to torture you my dear readers (if you even exist) with MY own little things:

My little things of the day are:

White cheese and tomato sandwiches at 4 pm: i think the white cheese fairy cast her spell on me, because ever since i learned to chew, this has been my constant request. Now to savour those at 4 pm, when I am supposed to be fasting (sorry God, i did send 4 empty sms's to 9595).






This video: now before you watch it, I want to explain why i am touched by it, because recently i have abandoned all of my wishes for the sake of one: to find happiness from within. Surprise.. huh? however last night i suddenly felt this was as corny as it DOES sound, and too limiting to encompass ALL of my wishes bardo, so i started questioning the direction i am heading to with this.. so this morning Jeneen sent me this...


http://www.ted.com/talks/matthieu_ricard_on_the_habits_of_happiness.html

i know, i am on a corny roller coaster today, i talk about happiness then i talk about happy little things and i end up posting a video of a monk discussing happiness!

oh well, HAPPY eid everyone (anyone actually)

Hey Juuu... its Ukulele!

All hail to Ukulele (i know, thats the name of an instrument not a person), but the video didn't provide any name..

Because of him i have been incapable of taking my eyes off the laptop screen for the last 2 days..




here is 'obladi oblada'




and 'Hey Juuuu'

an ode to love/laugh/One/Truth...

i have spent my whole life trying to find love and it has always been right here, waiting silently, patient, kind, unrelentless and expanding itself further and further to accustom my ever growing pains.

i have given my all to men, nurtured their insecurities, inflated them, glorified their egos, gave them silver spoons to dig deeper and deeper within my own issues, all in an effort that one day they would have that 'look' in their eyes when they look at me.
all of the while i was taking care of them so that they in return start taking care of me, doesn't it work like this now does it?

i don't need this kind of love, because my kind of love has always been there for me, waiting, looking at me fondly, astute, expandable, fluorescent, with big cartoon eyes smiling innocently at me.

i have done magic to uplift my appearance, popped endless pills to get rid of 25% of the fat in my meals. sweated 500+ calories on new fad gym machines, bought push ups, hipsters, wonder blahs and applied 4 different types of creams everyday that i can't even pronounce their names.

and all of that time, love was right there by my side, holding my hand when i didn't know where to put it. every night when i used to kiss myself before going to sleep, pretending that the kissing end was this or that guy, love would smile at me and hold my head to steady it throughout my insomnia, to appease my laxative induced tummy aches and looked back at me at 5 am in the mirror reassuring me 'beautiful..yes.. you are still here..no wrinkles so far'

then i gave it all up, i gave up on this and that guy, on that weird ex, or analyzing the many unresolved fuck ups i thought they epitomized my ideal of a romantic partner. i threw myself into the void, i embraced the strict machine behind my bed, idolized the posters above my desk, and expanded my collection on my desktop. I freed up my appetite, i developed new taste buds for sweets and bought 4 new pajamas. see i didn't give up, i just decided to sit down and drink a refreshing potion of binges, rejecting dates, and not answering my messages. i just wanted them away from me, none of them are attractive anymore, no i don't like your car, your music taste is like all the others, and as for you: kindly google 'BO'. even the Clooney chiseled ones, your flirtatious skills peeve the Romeo out of the Juliet in me.

Thats when love made his move, He slowly started showing up, hidden behind that Subway Melt, watching from behind that movie screen, popping out of my screensaver. I didn't see Him at first, though i spoke to Him all the time, by and by complained to Him, cried and screamed at Him and constantly envying His patience and His majesty: why are You so wise? why do You let people treat you like this? cant You see me talking to You here? You may be invisible to me, but You can still hear me cant you now?

He stood there, still with that soothing look in His eyes, one that always ends up making me cry if I stare at it for too long, and i always ended up with tears. till one day, i stared beyond tears, i held His gaze for an extra millisecond, and there it was, i saw it. No it wasn't a 'love' look you nitwits, it was a proud look, no not even that.. it was a 'there.. you are still here.. aren't you now?' look, a look of His overjoy for keeping me that extra millisecond, followed by a brief empowering stare.. and thats how it all started to dawn on me.

So i became hooked on that look, i would deliberately drive myself to tears so i can see it, but it wasn't there, at least not the one i think i saw. So i fell back into my ever expanding void, but with an ongoing conversation with Him that never ends.

Till one day He asked me "If you cant love yourself, how can you find any love from Me"
i laughed to look cool, "seriously? love myself?"… He answered me back "Don't be surprised.. you are much closer than you think are".. "how so?".. "follow the writings in your head.. I am in them.. stop reading other people's books, read mine only, and do NOT let anyone interpret it for you.. you have to interpret it yourself"..

I didn't read His book, i wasn't that confident in my literary abilities to equip me for this. I just kept talking to Him everyday and He, ever so witty "you silly little piglet… still can't love yourself?" "what is this? how am i supposed to achieve this, kiss myself in the mirror after brushing my teeth?".. "then you will never love me…"

Here is an idea, how about if i reverse it? can I love Him first and then love me?
"what do you reckon?"
…………….
"what?"
……………
"please don't.."

"Nevine.... you got it!"

I did? how so? no no… that was easy.. too easy.. but what if He is .. right? love Him and then love me, but doesn't this defy the purpose, its like buying the whole tree first, and then you also buy for the flowers that grew out of it… "No habibty.." what is this? where is Your logic? "I ve never invented logic, its what you and mankind have deduced out of observing my treatment of you.. you never buy a tree, its always given to you for free, its the people around you that place a price tag on everything.. the tree has always been for free, i placed it there in the first place for you.. once you sit down and spend some time with it, you start to realize that its biggest and pivotal essence is its flower, the SEED of its flower.. and that is you and me, i am your tree, i grew out of you and then i created you again, and after creating you, i carried you in my arms, i have shielded you from all the dangers around you, i have searched the ground beneath me for water and found to nurture you and to see you grow and blossom into the beautiful flower that you are right now"

I … speechless…. I am not 'I' anymore, I am now 'us', i am him and me, He is me and I am Him..
So simple, so poised in its structure, eloquent to my senses and as i said, always there, the simplest of all. Damn, the seed? thats me? He was carrying me all that time? i was terrified of everything around me when He has always been part of me?

So i started loving Him, and the rest is His-story.......

(Note: if you dont get the meaning behind this by now, please dont ask me, go to your nearest religious figure and invite him for a Whiskey)

I quote therefore I am..

You can tell so much by a person from their favorite quotes (duh).. so since words are not helping me very much these days, and i have a browsing addiction, i have browsed my friends' profiles to peek into their quotes, and here are the ones that i favored.. 

So if you find one of yours here.. thanks for inspiring a very blocked blogger..

i'm the nicest evil person you'll ever meet - my dad

We're all of us sentenced to solitary confinement inside our own skins

Who hears music, feels his solitude
Peopled at once

"an intellectual is someone who discovered sth more interesting than sex"...

"I am not a concept. Too many guys think I'm a concept or I complete them or I'm going to make them alive, but I'm just a fucked up girl looking for my own peace of mind. SO DONT ASSIGN ME YOURS!'" Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind.

If the devil is powerless, send him a woman.

"You don't get to call me a whore. When I met you, I thought I had found the person that I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I was done. So all the boys, and all the bars, and all the obvious daddy issues, who cared? Because I was done. You left me. I'm all glued back together now. I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke. You don't get to call me a whore" [Grey's Anatomy]


Difference between a friend and an Egyptian friend!

FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
EGYPTIAN FRIENDS: Always bring the food.

FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
EGYPTIAN FRIENDS: Call your parents: Uncle/Dad and Aunt (tante)/Mum.

"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes of a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus?!?

I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you go live in an old age home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party and you get ready for High School. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities. You become a little baby, you go back, you spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap.
...
Then you finish off as an orgasm!! Amen!"


"All you see, I owe to spaghetti." Sophia Loren

"Life is paradise, and we are all in paradise, but we refuse to see it. If we would, we should have heaven on earth the very next day." Dostoevsky

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me"


‎ها أنا أشهد أن الحب مثل الموت
‎يأتي حين لا تنتظر الحب
‎(محمود درويش)

Persona

I finally saw Persona, you see i wanted to write about it but its very hard to write about this movie milestone when i am sitting in our living room next to my mother who is watching Zohra w azwaggha el Khamssah...
but since this blog is called Zabady so Persona is my visual digestive after mosalsal Zohra...
So..
" There are great movies, and then there is Persona", this line is borrowed from a critic reviewing Clockwork Orange, and I used to second him, till I saw Persona...
Persona is about an actress (Liv Ullman) who suddenly becomes mute during one of her performances, for absolutely no logical reason. They move her to a beach house with a nurse, and this is where the movie begins. Both of them are stuck in the middle of nowhere, and only one of them does the talking, things go from tense to weird and within an hour, I become:
1- disturbed beyond repair
2- inspired for the upcoming 6 months and..
3- totally and utterly jealous of Ingmar Bergman (the director).
why cant we have movies like this? furthermore, why cant i write something like this script? and even if i did it.. who would buy it? El Sobky?  and even if they bought it, what would become of it? They would probably call it "Maw3ed ma3 Bersona"
This is not just a local problem, it is a very international one, the only difference is that in the movie mogul lands like USA and Europe, they are very much aware of its existence. Thats why you have increasingly popular festivals like Tribeca. There are people there that are sick of Hilary Duff's films being number 1 for weeks while the dark horses such as Che get a limited release.
oh well, thats all i have to write about Persona for now, i might write some more after i get off the couch, sit in a quiet area (with no Zohra) and eat some Zabady.

So untitled

.. the mushroom is out of focus
It is discerning how the mushroom is out of focus
We need to fix the mushroom to regain its focus
One mushroom is sufficient for a focus… unlike the pizza
How would you like your pizza today?
I like mine extra rubbery.. hold the stigma please
The stigma is out of loop.. and the loop has no internet connexion
You know you should try our internet connexion today. It is extra crispy, with some exciting new pop ups

“umm what was that?” she said

‘oh…
you are having another of those damn dreams ma’m..
care to wake up?”

“no… “

“no?”

“yes no… those dreams are extra handy you know.. they make my writer feel extra special”

“what writer ma’m?’

“the one typing this right now..”

“uhuh..”

“see it makes her feel extra special.. in a peculiar sort”

‘how so ma’m?’

“she is writing a movie, and every time she realizes that she doesn’t like it, she resorts to my dreams”

“but why yours?”

“cause she cant remember hers…she sleeps too much”

‘and that is an oxymoron right there… I am sure she must find something handy in all those extra sleeping hours’

“nope… she is always asleep”

“always?”

“yes.. physically and non physically..”

“……”

“oh well… don’t give me these empty dots… just ask your question”

“ok… I don’t understand the difference between physically and non physically..”

“well.. physically happens when she is actually in bed and under the covers”

“and non physically is…”

“when she is not under the covers (imagine a smile at this point)”

“… and out of bed?”

“no… wrong”

“…”

“sometimes she is in bed, but not under the covers…”

“eyes open?”

“yesssss”

‘then lets go back to helping her…”

“wait… you see she is always asleep cause she is… she is..”

‘….?’

“….happy”

“ok… whats that?”

“that was a word that was in the dictionary”

‘and why did they take it out?’

‘because people stopped using it.. “

“..u…oh.. but what does it mean?”

“how would I know?”

“so this ‘happy’ makes her asleep all the time..?”

“yes..”

“I got a grasp of it I think”

‘she is always asleep cause she has this ‘happy’… right?”

“yes..”

“so in another words, if she didn’t have this happy she would sometimes be sleeping and sometimes non sleeping”

“yes… like everybody else”

‘ok… what about those who don’t sleep at all?”

“then they should go and get some ‘happy’ from her”

“but how would they get it if they don’t know what it is?”

“then they just go and ask her to explain what ‘happy’ is”

“but how would she do so if she is always asleep and they are always awake?”

“then they have to reach a meeting point..”

“a meeting point… uhuh… go on..”

“she either has to wake up to explain to them what that ‘happy’ is.. or they have to go to sleep to reach her and ask her”

“but they cant sleep.. they will have to find a way to wake her up”

“but when she wakes up…she will stop having this ‘happy’”

“maybe..”

“..she will be part of their world.. that’s for sure”

“indeed…”

“and she wont write about you..”

“…and you!”

“oh yes (imagine a proud childlike smile here)”

“then we have to keep the people who don’t have the ‘happy’ away from her..”

“yes.. “

“I think I am starting to understand what ‘happy’ means”

“.. we are wasting time… lets get back to her.. do you think she is still writing about us?”

“I may not know what ‘happy’ means. But I sure know what ‘dumb’ is or who ‘dumb’ is..”

“me?”

“well she just wrote that right now… then, yes it must be you”

“ok… lets get her back.. where was she?”

I was writing about the internet connexion, that is misspelled on purpose, and its extra crispy pop ups…