I globalize, therefore I am..

One of my favorite definitions of globalization is "the shrinkage of time and space"

I am sure that you are now presuming that this is a post related to heavy topics: politics/economy …etc
But no it is not pertaining to any of these topics, however it IS about a heavy topic, the most heavily discussed topic on the planet: Relationships.

So what is the relationship between relationships and globalization?
Its a simple one: The grand demise that relationships are suffering from is all because of globalization.
Ok.. lets simplify this further...

You meet a guy in a party, you spend the whole night talking, you obviously like each other, you go home (thinking about him), you go to sleep (still thinking about him), you wake up (trying not to think about him).. Till suddenly, the door bell rings, you answer it: and find him standing in front of you. How would you react? you would definitely freak out and classify him as a stalker. Right?

Ok, now what if this happened during the 19th century?  would you still consider him a stalker? yes.. remember all those Jane Austen/Bronte films where the 'suitor' would show up unannounced after one encounter, to inform the maiden of his profound interest in her?

Now flash Forward to 2010, you meet a guy, you like each other, he is keen on showing you that he is interested, but he doesn't want to be pushy, so the next day you find a friend request on Facebook. You check out his profile first to see what he is like, and you bring out your check list. Profile pictures are cool? check. You then go through his status updates, he doesn't quote Paulo Coelho: check. He doesn't even have any status updates: double check. You then check out his photo albums, they are blocked: hummm.. ok..check. You wait for another hour: then you accept the friend request. Hey.. he is online! you wait.. he is not chatting with you. Your boss starts screaming at you, you close your Facebook and get back to work.

Day 2: you go online, he is online too, his chat window pops up:
'hey!!'
"helloooo (multiply the o's cause that means you are nice but still you only typed one word, so not too keen)"
"sup?"
"all good.. u?"
(bla bla.. his pronunciation sucks, however he still capitalizes names and doesnt use emoticons.. till your boss starts screaming again, you close your FB, get back to work)
..and this scenario repeats itself for another 3 days, till one day he makes a move! he asks for your BB pin! and before you know it, your BBM alert tone starts buzzing..
'hey!!'
"helloooo (multiply the o's cause that means you are nice but still you only typed one word, so not too keen)"
"sup?"
(bla bla.. this time he is using odd emoticons, but its cool cause the BBM emoticons are actually cute.. this goes on till your boss starts screaming again, you put your phone on silent and get back to work)
.. and yup.. this scenario repeats itself for another 3 days, till he makes yet another grand move, he follows you on Twitter! he starts mentioning you and occasionally retweets too!
Did I annoy you? I am sure I did, cause I have annoyed myself already!

So what does Globalization have to do with this? its simple, it made everything accessible, in the old days you had to physically meet each other to really get to know each other, or the more conservative (debatable) manner of asking around to find out about a girl/guy's interests and character. Nowadays you just check who he follows on Twitter, or what she posts on her wall. Globalization has made it so easy, it brought us all closer via internet, 3G, IPads, and all that junk. They all testify to one fact about human beings in the 21st century: that we have this incredible URGE to be accessible to each other 24/7! wherever we are: even if you are having a shower, you can still answer your phone! yes people! Motorolla are launching a 100% waterproof phone (porn jokes aside please). 

First there was the land line telephone: that made people accessible whenever they are home, then there were answering machines: that made them semi-accessible when they are not home. Then there was mobile phones: that made them accessible when they are awake and active. Then the mobile phones kept evolving: texting happened, she is not answering, no big deal i will just SMS her. Then phones evolved even more, BBM/ Ping/WhatsApp happened, you don't have enough credit, but you can harass her whenever you want with all the cute emoticons, pictures and forwards you can master, and these applications allow you to find out if she has read your messages or not. And that is just ONE form of communication, how about the internet? E-mails.. remember those? I was actually fond of E-mails, they were my only link to the Bronte and Austen era: cause they allowed a person to actually sit down and write his feelings out and then with the click of a button, send it to you. But then Facebook happened, and people became incapable of breathing without it (myself shamelessly included), and the social networks started multiplying, each with their own promise of offering you an original portal and manner of virtual flirting, and ensuring you that it will never be seen as stalking (remember Hi5)?

So, yup ..'the shrinkage of time and space' managed to shrink many things with it: courting (yes, that's what they used to call it) is long gone now. It has also shrunk Romance: now if you wanna look into his eyes, you have to look at those of Bruce Lee in his current profile pic. the closest you will get to winking at her is by 'poking' her, that is if Facebook manages to notify her in time. And when you do spend time together, there is always a third party involved: the buzzer of the phone. If you wanna tell him you miss him, post a youtube song on his wall. If you wanna tell him you are mad at him: update your BBM status, follow your ex, or better yet eat your phone's heart out, burn your hard disk and feed your wall..

I will end this post with the words of the great dame of acting Drew Barrymore with probably the deepest line she ever said in a movie (here its from 'He is just not that You'):

"i had this guy leave me a voice mail at work so i called him at home and then he emailed me into my blackberry so i texted to his cell, and he emailed me into my home account and the whole thing just got out of control and i miss the days where you had 1 phone number and one answering machine and that 1 answering machine housed 1 cassette tape, and that 1 cassette tape either had a message from a guy or it didn't. Now you have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by 7 different technologies, its exhausting"

Happy pokes and tweets everyone :)