Yo! yo! give it up to Glozell!
Or in normal people language: 'please meet Glozell'
A friend of mine posted one of her videos last week, i checked it out and man do i dig her! (ok! i will stop the bro language)... she is quiet something!
For some reason, her friends convinced her that she s funny as hell and should start her own video diaries and share her wisdom with the world about everything.
She's got over 900 videos on youtube, i tried to watch them all, but watching a Glozell video on youtube is like having molokheya for a snack.
Anyway, these are the ones i thought worthy of sharing:
This is her take on Keisha (she calls her 'Ketchup')... and since i think Keisha is the love child of Jack Daniel's and puke.. I now truly give it up to Glozell!
She also gets many compliments from the 'brothers' on her very (yes... VERYYY) generous booty.. so she took it further and did this parody..
and an 'iss you lonely??' parody
So ladies, next time you wear them jeans.. smack that booty and be grateful there is a Glozell out there.
(btw, if anyone's interested, she is doing a meet & greet in Target tomorrow)
Saturday 25 September 2010
Tuesday 21 September 2010
The Nouveau Cool
(warning: i know many will be offended by this, but I never denied that I was an elitist, its one of my few cherished defects..)
Ever heard of the 'Nouveau Cool"?
No you didnt, cause i ve just invented it!
let me familiarize you a bit with my new poignant term..
(another warning: if you are not one of those lame Egyptians living in the margins of the Socialite mishaps, this article will be total mumbo jumbo to you..)
When you walk into a party, take a good look around you, all of these kids are the Nouveau Cool.. The Nouveau Cool are the kids (yes anyone below 25 is a kid to me!!) that are everywhere now. They have invented their own fashion, perfected their new found music taste, have their very own lingo and body language, and move around in herds.
but the sad thing is.. there is nothing 'inventive' about any of the above, the fashion is a scary Paris Hilton-Gaga-Cyrus mix. The music taste doesn't go beyond Guetta and the Black Eyed Peas. And as for the body language: oh well, how many movements do you need to communicate 'tense/slut/small wee wee'
Now comes the meaty part: they move around in herds.. Our dear Nouveau Cool are a bunch of very good friends who suddenly became very good friends because they share the same desire: They WANT to be cool..they want to be everywhere, to go to every single party, to take pictures of themselves in these parties, and post these eye stinging pictures on FaceBook to prove s0mething. That they are cool, they are in, they are happening..etc..
They are also people that suddenly popped up, you ve never heard of them before and suddenly they are EVERYWHERE. Or if you have heard of them before, most of them are that shy guy or that weird smelling girl you used to know but couldn't remember their name.
It is a well known fact that the Egyptian society is dying, if you compare our lifestyle 15 years ago to today, you will understand what I mean: the Mahmoodaky parties are over, all the 3azayem now take place only during sahel season, the 3azza now is held in a mosque for 3 hours instead of the 3 day 3azza, and many people now would rather create a Blackberry group to catch up rather than meet up over coffee. No one even goes to coffee shops anymore, people meet up for a drink, a movie, or a Playstation.
So, we cant really blame the Nouveau Cool for leaping into the social scene and spreading like fungus, the lack of a society made the Nouveau Cool believe that they are the cream of the society: they are the crowd of Tamarai and the reason why Cairo Jazz is suddenly happening again.
I open my Facebook everyday and i see new albums: usually of the same girl, in the same posture in 150 pictures. Or of the same guy of the same pause with 150 girls on each arm. when i get through the pictures, I see the status updates: "xxx is partying it up in Sokhna (since when is sokhna a party scene?)" or "xxx is so getting ready to jet to France (who gives a shit)"..
The Nouveau Cool for me are the biggest indicator that this society is over, the attitudes are getting uglier, the outings are becoming scarier, and me... well.. older :)
Yes, i am very aware that i DO sound like a has been who is entering her 30's, but I kid you not, back in the days, we ALL knew each other cause either we were related or family friends, life was much simpler, you go out once every week, and then you go home, watch Falcon Crest (ok.. The Bold and the Beautiful in my case) and go to sleep.
oh well... i am off to bed.. where is my night anti wrinkle cream?
Ever heard of the 'Nouveau Cool"?
No you didnt, cause i ve just invented it!
let me familiarize you a bit with my new poignant term..
(another warning: if you are not one of those lame Egyptians living in the margins of the Socialite mishaps, this article will be total mumbo jumbo to you..)
When you walk into a party, take a good look around you, all of these kids are the Nouveau Cool.. The Nouveau Cool are the kids (yes anyone below 25 is a kid to me!!) that are everywhere now. They have invented their own fashion, perfected their new found music taste, have their very own lingo and body language, and move around in herds.
but the sad thing is.. there is nothing 'inventive' about any of the above, the fashion is a scary Paris Hilton-Gaga-Cyrus mix. The music taste doesn't go beyond Guetta and the Black Eyed Peas. And as for the body language: oh well, how many movements do you need to communicate 'tense/slut/small wee wee'
Now comes the meaty part: they move around in herds.. Our dear Nouveau Cool are a bunch of very good friends who suddenly became very good friends because they share the same desire: They WANT to be cool..they want to be everywhere, to go to every single party, to take pictures of themselves in these parties, and post these eye stinging pictures on FaceBook to prove s0mething. That they are cool, they are in, they are happening..etc..
They are also people that suddenly popped up, you ve never heard of them before and suddenly they are EVERYWHERE. Or if you have heard of them before, most of them are that shy guy or that weird smelling girl you used to know but couldn't remember their name.
It is a well known fact that the Egyptian society is dying, if you compare our lifestyle 15 years ago to today, you will understand what I mean: the Mahmoodaky parties are over, all the 3azayem now take place only during sahel season, the 3azza now is held in a mosque for 3 hours instead of the 3 day 3azza, and many people now would rather create a Blackberry group to catch up rather than meet up over coffee. No one even goes to coffee shops anymore, people meet up for a drink, a movie, or a Playstation.
So, we cant really blame the Nouveau Cool for leaping into the social scene and spreading like fungus, the lack of a society made the Nouveau Cool believe that they are the cream of the society: they are the crowd of Tamarai and the reason why Cairo Jazz is suddenly happening again.
I open my Facebook everyday and i see new albums: usually of the same girl, in the same posture in 150 pictures. Or of the same guy of the same pause with 150 girls on each arm. when i get through the pictures, I see the status updates: "xxx is partying it up in Sokhna (since when is sokhna a party scene?)" or "xxx is so getting ready to jet to France (who gives a shit)"..
The Nouveau Cool for me are the biggest indicator that this society is over, the attitudes are getting uglier, the outings are becoming scarier, and me... well.. older :)
Yes, i am very aware that i DO sound like a has been who is entering her 30's, but I kid you not, back in the days, we ALL knew each other cause either we were related or family friends, life was much simpler, you go out once every week, and then you go home, watch Falcon Crest (ok.. The Bold and the Beautiful in my case) and go to sleep.
oh well... i am off to bed.. where is my night anti wrinkle cream?
Sunday 12 September 2010
Let the Right One In
'Let the Right One In' is a Swedish vampire film that has nothing to do with horror, vampires or any other genre.
it transcends all movies in its content and how the director chose to deal with such a story
I heard of it a while back, when i saw the trailer of its American remake which is to be released next month.
And as they tell you 'do not judge a book by its movie', in our case here it should be 'do not judge a movie by its American remake', so I went and watched it because I knew i would kick myself if I ended up seeing the final American version.
The movie tells the story of a very odd 12 year old girl: Eli, she moves in next to Oskar who is of the same age, and they fall in love throughout the course of the movie. As you might expect, the plot takes the expected turns (Oskar is constantly bullied, Eli saves him. Strange murders happen in town and Oskar discovers its all Eli's doing. ).. that said, watching these events is a totally different experience, there are no scary scenes in the film, no sound effects whatsoever and there are no hot cheerleader running around with double D cleavage..
I had given up on vampire movies since I saw Bram Stocker's Dracula back in the 90's.. but when i heard of this film, the title itself (based on a Morissey song) made me extremely curious.
And indeed it did not disappoint me, the movie is very slow, there is absolutely nothing charismatic about the kids. But thats exactly what made me fall in love with it, Eli is bordering unattractive and Oskar looks like a classic Swede (so blonde that you can't tell his hair from his skin).
Tomas Alfredson the director, did an excellent job by being totally indifferent to the viewer's fast paced conditioned entertainment needs, he took his time with the story, and like most European film makers: this film gave us a character study instead of a complicated plot. The scenes took their time and weight, the dialogue was scarce and there were no complicated sets.
But what really got to me is the fact that this movie is not about vampires, it is about the kind of love a 12 year old experiences, the unconditional kind, the kind that is not cautious and eager to apply what it learned from previous experiences.
It is not visual by any means, you will not remember any scenes because they will all be clouded by two or three extremely powerful scenes, one of which shows Eli with blood all over her face as if it is chocolate sauce.
It is really a shame that we live in an age where kids define their future based upon twilight release dates, and have not heard of great vampire films such as Nosferatu .
One of the biggest misconceptions about vampire films is that they should either be terrifying and bloody, or Romantic and corny .
But every once in a while a movie like this comes along and gives us a completely different perspective on one of the greatest myths ever created.
Please stop obsessing with Twilight, I mean really Edward has the most vertically challenged hair i have ever seen, and Bella has two expressions, and she somehow ends up cross eyed in the rest. Vampires do NOT sparkle in sunlight and werewolves do not have piggy noses (what the hell are werewolves even doing in a VAMPIRE movie!)..
Wednesday 8 September 2010
teeny little daily pleasures
alright then..
since i ve been very fixated on the whole happiness thing (starting from its definition to attaining it)
i had several stops in my tedious quest:
what always rang with me was a Brigitte Bardot quote "you cannot say 'I am happy!' as a statement like 'I am blonde '!".. so i thought this statement was genius in its simplicity, happiness is not a tangible decisive all encompassing conclusion like a bottle of blonde die with a hint of chestnut.
Happiness is a grand fine lady that demands respect, you cannot lure her in with that new diet, that hot guy, or that new SUV. She likes to come in small doses. A brilliant friend once gave me a very simple test to do whenever I am at my happiest state to see whether this happiness is genuine and everlasting or not, he simply said take away that particular factor that makes you happy (that new diet, that hot guy or that new SUV) and if you are still happy, then congrats you are one of the 1% favored by the grand dame.
That totally unplugged me, because yes I do get happy when suddenly i can slip into a size 27 jeans, or actually eat that perfect risotto. what would i be without the risotto's calories or the skinny jeans? erm.. back to the less happier state..
so on with my quest, and my ever increasing frustration of finding that luring dame, I came across another very successful quote
"Enjoy the little things, there are so many of them"
now you see, this is written by a happy person who probably has a bunch of size 30 jeans. but he/she doesnt care because she (i will effeminate her, happiness IS a dame after all) is always busy focusing on her little things to not care..
So here is the deal:
I am going to torture you my dear readers (if you even exist) with MY own little things:
My little things of the day are:
White cheese and tomato sandwiches at 4 pm: i think the white cheese fairy cast her spell on me, because ever since i learned to chew, this has been my constant request. Now to savour those at 4 pm, when I am supposed to be fasting (sorry God, i did send 4 empty sms's to 9595).
This video: now before you watch it, I want to explain why i am touched by it, because recently i have abandoned all of my wishes for the sake of one: to find happiness from within. Surprise.. huh? however last night i suddenly felt this was as corny as it DOES sound, and too limiting to encompass ALL of my wishes bardo, so i started questioning the direction i am heading to with this.. so this morning Jeneen sent me this...
http://www.ted.com/talks/matthieu_ricard_on_the_habits_of_happiness.html
i know, i am on a corny roller coaster today, i talk about happiness then i talk about happy little things and i end up posting a video of a monk discussing happiness!
oh well, HAPPY eid everyone (anyone actually)
since i ve been very fixated on the whole happiness thing (starting from its definition to attaining it)
i had several stops in my tedious quest:
what always rang with me was a Brigitte Bardot quote "you cannot say 'I am happy!' as a statement like 'I am blonde '!".. so i thought this statement was genius in its simplicity, happiness is not a tangible decisive all encompassing conclusion like a bottle of blonde die with a hint of chestnut.
Happiness is a grand fine lady that demands respect, you cannot lure her in with that new diet, that hot guy, or that new SUV. She likes to come in small doses. A brilliant friend once gave me a very simple test to do whenever I am at my happiest state to see whether this happiness is genuine and everlasting or not, he simply said take away that particular factor that makes you happy (that new diet, that hot guy or that new SUV) and if you are still happy, then congrats you are one of the 1% favored by the grand dame.
That totally unplugged me, because yes I do get happy when suddenly i can slip into a size 27 jeans, or actually eat that perfect risotto. what would i be without the risotto's calories or the skinny jeans? erm.. back to the less happier state..
so on with my quest, and my ever increasing frustration of finding that luring dame, I came across another very successful quote
"Enjoy the little things, there are so many of them"
now you see, this is written by a happy person who probably has a bunch of size 30 jeans. but he/she doesnt care because she (i will effeminate her, happiness IS a dame after all) is always busy focusing on her little things to not care..
So here is the deal:
I am going to torture you my dear readers (if you even exist) with MY own little things:
My little things of the day are:
This video: now before you watch it, I want to explain why i am touched by it, because recently i have abandoned all of my wishes for the sake of one: to find happiness from within. Surprise.. huh? however last night i suddenly felt this was as corny as it DOES sound, and too limiting to encompass ALL of my wishes bardo, so i started questioning the direction i am heading to with this.. so this morning Jeneen sent me this...
http://www.ted.com/talks/matthieu_ricard_on_the_habits_of_happiness.html
i know, i am on a corny roller coaster today, i talk about happiness then i talk about happy little things and i end up posting a video of a monk discussing happiness!
oh well, HAPPY eid everyone (anyone actually)
Monday 6 September 2010
Hey Juuu... its Ukulele!
All hail to Ukulele (i know, thats the name of an instrument not a person), but the video didn't provide any name..
Because of him i have been incapable of taking my eyes off the laptop screen for the last 2 days..
here is 'obladi oblada'
and 'Hey Juuuu'
Because of him i have been incapable of taking my eyes off the laptop screen for the last 2 days..
here is 'obladi oblada'
and 'Hey Juuuu'
Sunday 5 September 2010
an ode to love/laugh/One/Truth...
i have spent my whole life trying to find love and it has always been right here, waiting silently, patient, kind, unrelentless and expanding itself further and further to accustom my ever growing pains.
i have given my all to men, nurtured their insecurities, inflated them, glorified their egos, gave them silver spoons to dig deeper and deeper within my own issues, all in an effort that one day they would have that 'look' in their eyes when they look at me.
all of the while i was taking care of them so that they in return start taking care of me, doesn't it work like this now does it?
i don't need this kind of love, because my kind of love has always been there for me, waiting, looking at me fondly, astute, expandable, fluorescent, with big cartoon eyes smiling innocently at me.
i have done magic to uplift my appearance, popped endless pills to get rid of 25% of the fat in my meals. sweated 500+ calories on new fad gym machines, bought push ups, hipsters, wonder blahs and applied 4 different types of creams everyday that i can't even pronounce their names.
and all of that time, love was right there by my side, holding my hand when i didn't know where to put it. every night when i used to kiss myself before going to sleep, pretending that the kissing end was this or that guy, love would smile at me and hold my head to steady it throughout my insomnia, to appease my laxative induced tummy aches and looked back at me at 5 am in the mirror reassuring me 'beautiful..yes.. you are still here..no wrinkles so far'
then i gave it all up, i gave up on this and that guy, on that weird ex, or analyzing the many unresolved fuck ups i thought they epitomized my ideal of a romantic partner. i threw myself into the void, i embraced the strict machine behind my bed, idolized the posters above my desk, and expanded my collection on my desktop. I freed up my appetite, i developed new taste buds for sweets and bought 4 new pajamas. see i didn't give up, i just decided to sit down and drink a refreshing potion of binges, rejecting dates, and not answering my messages. i just wanted them away from me, none of them are attractive anymore, no i don't like your car, your music taste is like all the others, and as for you: kindly google 'BO'. even the Clooney chiseled ones, your flirtatious skills peeve the Romeo out of the Juliet in me.
Thats when love made his move, He slowly started showing up, hidden behind that Subway Melt, watching from behind that movie screen, popping out of my screensaver. I didn't see Him at first, though i spoke to Him all the time, by and by complained to Him, cried and screamed at Him and constantly envying His patience and His majesty: why are You so wise? why do You let people treat you like this? cant You see me talking to You here? You may be invisible to me, but You can still hear me cant you now?
He stood there, still with that soothing look in His eyes, one that always ends up making me cry if I stare at it for too long, and i always ended up with tears. till one day, i stared beyond tears, i held His gaze for an extra millisecond, and there it was, i saw it. No it wasn't a 'love' look you nitwits, it was a proud look, no not even that.. it was a 'there.. you are still here.. aren't you now?' look, a look of His overjoy for keeping me that extra millisecond, followed by a brief empowering stare.. and thats how it all started to dawn on me.
So i became hooked on that look, i would deliberately drive myself to tears so i can see it, but it wasn't there, at least not the one i think i saw. So i fell back into my ever expanding void, but with an ongoing conversation with Him that never ends.
Till one day He asked me "If you cant love yourself, how can you find any love from Me"
i laughed to look cool, "seriously? love myself?"… He answered me back "Don't be surprised.. you are much closer than you think are".. "how so?".. "follow the writings in your head.. I am in them.. stop reading other people's books, read mine only, and do NOT let anyone interpret it for you.. you have to interpret it yourself"..
I didn't read His book, i wasn't that confident in my literary abilities to equip me for this. I just kept talking to Him everyday and He, ever so witty "you silly little piglet… still can't love yourself?" "what is this? how am i supposed to achieve this, kiss myself in the mirror after brushing my teeth?".. "then you will never love me…"
Here is an idea, how about if i reverse it? can I love Him first and then love me?
"what do you reckon?"
…………….
"what?"
……………
"please don't.."
"Nevine.... you got it!"
I did? how so? no no… that was easy.. too easy.. but what if He is .. right? love Him and then love me, but doesn't this defy the purpose, its like buying the whole tree first, and then you also buy for the flowers that grew out of it… "No habibty.." what is this? where is Your logic? "I ve never invented logic, its what you and mankind have deduced out of observing my treatment of you.. you never buy a tree, its always given to you for free, its the people around you that place a price tag on everything.. the tree has always been for free, i placed it there in the first place for you.. once you sit down and spend some time with it, you start to realize that its biggest and pivotal essence is its flower, the SEED of its flower.. and that is you and me, i am your tree, i grew out of you and then i created you again, and after creating you, i carried you in my arms, i have shielded you from all the dangers around you, i have searched the ground beneath me for water and found to nurture you and to see you grow and blossom into the beautiful flower that you are right now"
I … speechless…. I am not 'I' anymore, I am now 'us', i am him and me, He is me and I am Him..
So simple, so poised in its structure, eloquent to my senses and as i said, always there, the simplest of all. Damn, the seed? thats me? He was carrying me all that time? i was terrified of everything around me when He has always been part of me?
So i started loving Him, and the rest is His-story.......
(Note: if you dont get the meaning behind this by now, please dont ask me, go to your nearest religious figure and invite him for a Whiskey)
i have given my all to men, nurtured their insecurities, inflated them, glorified their egos, gave them silver spoons to dig deeper and deeper within my own issues, all in an effort that one day they would have that 'look' in their eyes when they look at me.
all of the while i was taking care of them so that they in return start taking care of me, doesn't it work like this now does it?
i don't need this kind of love, because my kind of love has always been there for me, waiting, looking at me fondly, astute, expandable, fluorescent, with big cartoon eyes smiling innocently at me.
i have done magic to uplift my appearance, popped endless pills to get rid of 25% of the fat in my meals. sweated 500+ calories on new fad gym machines, bought push ups, hipsters, wonder blahs and applied 4 different types of creams everyday that i can't even pronounce their names.
and all of that time, love was right there by my side, holding my hand when i didn't know where to put it. every night when i used to kiss myself before going to sleep, pretending that the kissing end was this or that guy, love would smile at me and hold my head to steady it throughout my insomnia, to appease my laxative induced tummy aches and looked back at me at 5 am in the mirror reassuring me 'beautiful..yes.. you are still here..no wrinkles so far'
then i gave it all up, i gave up on this and that guy, on that weird ex, or analyzing the many unresolved fuck ups i thought they epitomized my ideal of a romantic partner. i threw myself into the void, i embraced the strict machine behind my bed, idolized the posters above my desk, and expanded my collection on my desktop. I freed up my appetite, i developed new taste buds for sweets and bought 4 new pajamas. see i didn't give up, i just decided to sit down and drink a refreshing potion of binges, rejecting dates, and not answering my messages. i just wanted them away from me, none of them are attractive anymore, no i don't like your car, your music taste is like all the others, and as for you: kindly google 'BO'. even the Clooney chiseled ones, your flirtatious skills peeve the Romeo out of the Juliet in me.
Thats when love made his move, He slowly started showing up, hidden behind that Subway Melt, watching from behind that movie screen, popping out of my screensaver. I didn't see Him at first, though i spoke to Him all the time, by and by complained to Him, cried and screamed at Him and constantly envying His patience and His majesty: why are You so wise? why do You let people treat you like this? cant You see me talking to You here? You may be invisible to me, but You can still hear me cant you now?
He stood there, still with that soothing look in His eyes, one that always ends up making me cry if I stare at it for too long, and i always ended up with tears. till one day, i stared beyond tears, i held His gaze for an extra millisecond, and there it was, i saw it. No it wasn't a 'love' look you nitwits, it was a proud look, no not even that.. it was a 'there.. you are still here.. aren't you now?' look, a look of His overjoy for keeping me that extra millisecond, followed by a brief empowering stare.. and thats how it all started to dawn on me.
So i became hooked on that look, i would deliberately drive myself to tears so i can see it, but it wasn't there, at least not the one i think i saw. So i fell back into my ever expanding void, but with an ongoing conversation with Him that never ends.
Till one day He asked me "If you cant love yourself, how can you find any love from Me"
i laughed to look cool, "seriously? love myself?"… He answered me back "Don't be surprised.. you are much closer than you think are".. "how so?".. "follow the writings in your head.. I am in them.. stop reading other people's books, read mine only, and do NOT let anyone interpret it for you.. you have to interpret it yourself"..
I didn't read His book, i wasn't that confident in my literary abilities to equip me for this. I just kept talking to Him everyday and He, ever so witty "you silly little piglet… still can't love yourself?" "what is this? how am i supposed to achieve this, kiss myself in the mirror after brushing my teeth?".. "then you will never love me…"
Here is an idea, how about if i reverse it? can I love Him first and then love me?
"what do you reckon?"
…………….
"what?"
……………
"please don't.."
"Nevine.... you got it!"
I did? how so? no no… that was easy.. too easy.. but what if He is .. right? love Him and then love me, but doesn't this defy the purpose, its like buying the whole tree first, and then you also buy for the flowers that grew out of it… "No habibty.." what is this? where is Your logic? "I ve never invented logic, its what you and mankind have deduced out of observing my treatment of you.. you never buy a tree, its always given to you for free, its the people around you that place a price tag on everything.. the tree has always been for free, i placed it there in the first place for you.. once you sit down and spend some time with it, you start to realize that its biggest and pivotal essence is its flower, the SEED of its flower.. and that is you and me, i am your tree, i grew out of you and then i created you again, and after creating you, i carried you in my arms, i have shielded you from all the dangers around you, i have searched the ground beneath me for water and found to nurture you and to see you grow and blossom into the beautiful flower that you are right now"
I … speechless…. I am not 'I' anymore, I am now 'us', i am him and me, He is me and I am Him..
So simple, so poised in its structure, eloquent to my senses and as i said, always there, the simplest of all. Damn, the seed? thats me? He was carrying me all that time? i was terrified of everything around me when He has always been part of me?
So i started loving Him, and the rest is His-story.......
(Note: if you dont get the meaning behind this by now, please dont ask me, go to your nearest religious figure and invite him for a Whiskey)
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